Useless Daughter

Today, I got scolded by my dad. He said that I’m a useless daughter and didn’t contribute to the family. He even said that I always ask for many things and didn’t think about his feelings. OMFG……. When I heard all this things form his mouth, I felt very sad and my heart’s bleeding which is so pain till I can’t express it out. While I’m packing my things I asked myself that did I give everything to this family, did I do anything wrong towards this family, did I don’t care about this family, did I always ask for many things. I do admit that some of the things I did wrongly but is just only the small things which won’t hurt them. I really don’t understand why he wants to say this kind of things to me. No matter how well I perform, he also won’t say any word of praising. My dad always will praise my brother when he perform well and hardly scold him. Although he is working now, my dad even give him money in order he can survive in kl for his work. As for me, I need to save money because my pocket money is so limited. My dad always asks me not to spend too much because he doesn’t have so much money for me. He even curses me for not getting good result to show him for my next three years of the degree course. My heart really breaks into pieces till I can’t place them back into the original. So sorry again to my friends, I’m lost myself again and this time don’t know how long I need to get recover.

The main reason that I get scolded by my dad was all because of the new roommate. Actually he promise me for letting me drive up to Kampar to get all those unused things back to Seremban. As usual he always broke his promise towards me. Is just I’m the stupid girl who believe what he say and always dreamt of my dream come true but not even once. So after knowing the answer, I called my sister to ask her whether she’s available to send me back to Kampar and get back all those stuffs. Unfortunately, my sister not free and I told her that I’ll settle it by myself. After passing the phone to my dad, he starts all those sweet talks to my sister by telling her that he will ask my uncle to come over to take care of my mom and he will go Kampar with me to bring back those things. Yet my brilliant sister give a plan that she will go next week to collect those things and my dad say this is a very good idea and he like it. OMFG… I wanted to bring back all this stuffs since previous semester end. My sister offers me that she will pick me up from Kampar on 1/5 and I said ok. But my dad force me to say no, the reason is he want to let my sister to get rest because she’s busy for taking care of my sick mother. Ya... Me too think it is a good idea and also don’t want to troublesome her so much. Now it ends up, my sister blaming me for making her goes Kampar and rejecting her offer previously. So I told my dad in a not happy tone that I need to bring back all those things within this week due to my room has no more space.

The worst thing is my brilliant dad who likes to plan for people said, “Place your useless thing in the common area la. Why like this also cannot? It is not so important you also can bring it back by yourself by train or bus.”

Me: “How can I place my stuff at the common area and it is a luggage bag and others things more which are those things that I’m not using it.”
Brilliant Dad: “Why must you get those entire useless things back by this week? Why can’t you think of my situation? USELESS DAUGHTER”

Since I heard what he said, I made a decision to stop talking to him for those unnecessary things and I won’t be coming back home that often. By not going home that often is I’ll be only going home on semester break or might be going back also. Staying in this family also has nothing for me to do and no one knows what is in my mind. May be all this years, I’m just pretending and try my best to fit in this family. And this family is hurting me too much, I can’t take it anymore.